January 2015
Wednesday January 21
Jack Dent
1925—2015
I'm sorry to have to report that Ann's father, Jack, passed away early last Thursday morning. As I mentioned last week, Ann, Katy and Emily all went to Sarnia a couple of weekends ago because Jack's health had taken a turn for the worse. But he seemed to rally over the weekend and we were all hopeful that things would be better for a while at least. However, once everyone had gone home, he rapidly got worse again.
Ann, James and I flew to Toronto early on Saturday morning, rented a car and drove the rest of the way arriving around lunchtime. Katy, Ben, Emily and cousins Liz and John arrived from Ottawa shortly afterwards. Edna was holding up very well under the circumstances. She had been inundated with food from friends and neighbours so we spent the weekend staying close to home, entertaining those who dropped by to offer their condolences, making arrangements for the funeral, and trying to put a dent in the food.
The funeral was on Monday at noon with a visitation from 11 AM until the service. It was very well attended with many people travelling quite long distances to pay their respects. All of Jack's immediate family was there except for David (to Ann's great chagrin) including all his nephews and grand-nieces and grand-nephews. There were three eulogies: by Martha, by Hannah and Liz, and by Jackie (Jack's grand-niece); the first two are reproduced below. After the service there was a nice lunch in the church gymnasium (from which we took home even more food).
James, Emily, Katy, Ben, Liz, John and I all left early yesterday morning reconvening at my Mum's place in King City. We all went to lunch at the local pub before the Ottawa contingent continued their journey. James and I stayed for most of the afternoon and had the chance to see my brother Simon who dropped in on his way home from a morning in Toronto. James and I flew back yesterday evening arriving home at about 11 PM.
Martha's Eulogy
Dad showed his love constantly and quietly. Mom and Dad met as teenagers at Kenesserie United Church camp on Lake Erie and married about eight years later. They celebrated their 62nd anniversary last summer.
Dad's grandfather founded the John Dent and Son garage and car dealership located at the crossroads of Merlin in 1913. That's a small village with a population of 800, located 25 kilometres south west of Chatham. Now this is the time of early cars, so we're talking Ford Model T's and Grey Dort's. In 1916, Ford said if you're selling our cars you're not selling theirs, so they became a Ford dealership. With his father and brother-in-law, the family business continued until 1973. Dad then became office manager and bookkeeper of McCart, McEachran and George law firm, now George, Murray, Shipley and Bell, until his retirement in 1990. Sarnia became our new home, but he remained a "Merlin-ite" at heart.
People looked after each other in Merlin — something we have felt very much lately in Sarnia from the Grace church family as well as neighbours and friends. In Merlin you knew everyone and everyone knew you. We've often said that in Merlin when we were growing up, you'd get scolded by whoever witnessed your transgression, and your parents would know about it before you got home, where it would be dealt with again. Aunt Carole could attest to this. She was Dad's younger sister and, as with most younger sisters, was adored and greatly loved. Aunt Carole's family and ours really grew up as one big family in Merlin and at the cottage in Erieau. Dad loved to sail and he and uncle Bud competed in races at the "O" every Sunday morning. We have many memories of the love and laughter shared together with family and friends.
I don't think anyone who really knew Dad could talk to him long without discovering his love of fishing. There was a men's fishing trip every fall to the Magnetawan, and later to the French River. It was a rite of passage when the boys were old enough to join the men. The fish tales were long and the pranks just as inventive.
One such tale is of Dad's grand catch with a "fat rat" lure from Canadian Tire. The Howell boys and John will tell you that he didn't offer to share his lure with anyone — but the next year my brother bought two dozen lures, one lure in every colour for each of them so they wouldn't be out-fished again! Last Monday as Ted told this tale and thought Dad was sleeping, Dad piped up that he had caught 122 fish that week. His mind was sharp until the end.
He made sure that the joys of fishing trips up north were also shared with his grandchildren, grandnieces and grandnephews. The kids, equipped with walkie-talkies, went cottage to cottage on the island where we had rented most of the cottages with all our families intermingled. Although we did fish, I think most of the kids would tell you they remember the food, campfires, s'mores, and stories — and maybe a snake tale or two — more than the fishing.
I remember Scottish bagpipe music being played at 9 AM Sunday morning if I was out late on a Saturday night. My brother remembers being asked to go on the roof early Sunday morning to clean out of the eaves trough in the fall if he was out late. My sister noted she didn't stay out late but was surprised one visit home to realize how much Mom and Dad worried when one of us was out later than usual; and yet when we came home, it was a simple "goodnight" and off they went to bed. And we thought we could sneak in unnoticed!
Dad loved his music. Vera Lynn and Big Band Music — and did I mention Scottish bag pipe music? When his vision began to fail, he enjoyed his music even more. He had a 200-CD player and Dad knew the numbers of his favourites and would spend hours listening to them. Dad also enjoyed listening to his son-in-law play fiddle or banjo. He was proud to hear that his grandchildren played his favourite tunes. He loved to watch their marching bands, jazz performances or Irish dancing. Many songs and bands will always remind us of Dad.
Dad was so proud of his grandchildren and their accomplishments. He would attend as many of their events as he could. From watching the kids play soccer, football, basketball, archery competitions, musical performances, or quiet moments chatting about their daily lives and adventures, Dad loved to be with his grandchildren and wanted to know what they were doing.
Dad always looked after us, and wanted to make sure we were safe when we started driving our own vehicles. Again, he did this quietly. He would check our oil, tire pressure and windshield washer fluid whenever we came home, and give us a ticket to get the vehicle washed. He gave his son-in-law an "anti-theft club" one Christmas, as he knew that the Chrysler van was easy to steal; imagine Dave's thoughts when he woke up to find the van gone and the "club" still in the house. Dad always wanted to give us gas money — which didn't change with the onset of grandchildren. Even last Monday, Dad ensured that Gran gave Katy gas money before she returned to Ottawa.
Our family has expanded over the years. We have welcomed Dave, Halima and Thom, and Dad embraced each one as one of his own. John and Halima had the good fortune of settling in Brights Grove and raising their family close by. Halima remembers Dad helping to drive her around and rescuing her when she had car trouble. Her brother, Oumar, was also received and loved as a member of the family. And with their family spread out around the world, Dad (and Mom) really became their Sarnia parents, a role they have both welcomed.
Dad taught us the importance of serving our community through his actions. Dad helped others quietly through his work with Rotary, Masons, church and various school boards and committees; but also wherever he saw a personal need. He never wanted recognition; he just did what needed to be done.
We are so happy that retirement allowed Mom and Dad to enjoy traveling with Elder Hostels and a few notable trips with Doug Greenough on the Footprints of St. Paul and Oberammergau. Their travels allowed Dad to draw on his love of history and add to his love of storytelling.
But when Dad was no longer able to travel it became even more evident that what he enjoyed most was time with family. Remaining in their home ensured lots of space for everyone to come home, opportunities to play at the beach and, most importantly, to always feel embraced.
We always felt loved by Dad. That won't change. We are so fortunate that he was able to stay at home until his final week in the hospital. Dad felt for years that every day was a gift, and we all knew that. He was a gift — and one that will be truly missed.
Liz and Hannah's Eulogy
If there's anything all the grandchildren can say about Papa is that he was the strong silent type. He was never one to speak unless it was to tell us something important or an interesting story. What he provided for all of us was the consistency of always being there. You could always find him in the den with the news on or in the living room reading the newspaper or listening to jazz. This music was the backdrop of most of the card games played with the grandkids. Most of the Hally grandchildren can remember many games of hearts played with Papa spanning over the years along with quietly sharing the room together, everyone with a different book in hand.
He always had a knack of doing things without saying anything — whether it was to rub your back if you were sitting next to him or to help simplify a problem. For example, Gran and Papa brought back a very colourful and comfortable hammock from Mexico — it was a magical thing that somehow fit every grandchild (to be fair we were all under the age of 14). But whenever we were out on the hammock pushing each other, which led to arguments of who would have to get out to push, Papa would come over with a stick with a rope attached to it and he would wordlessly hammer it into the grass beside us and hand us the rope and walk away. He knew we'd figure out what to do with it.
But if there was one thing he wasn't silent about it was food and sweets. He kept a sort of family tradition alive of always going to Purdy's Fish and Chips during the summer and also going to get ice cream in Point Edward. Looking back I'm not sure who enjoyed the ice cream more, him or us, but it was something we all looked forward to. He was even known to strike deals with the grandchildren when it came to sweets. One day Rachel and John had stolen cookies and decided to eat them right beside the kitchen table close to where they were kept. Then Papa walked by and said, if you don't tell Gran you can continue to eat them but you have to give me one. It was common knowledge that if you could sneak him a treat you would get one too.
Another part to the secret bond between the grandkids and Papa was the way he would give us the occasional slip of money. In the beginning it was usually a loonie or a toonie, and as time went on it would increase to Tim Cards and $20 bills. But it was in the way he decided to give it to us that was unique. He would always wait until he was alone with you or he would pull you aside and slip it directly into your hand, and simply whisper, "This is for you" to either pay for gas, groceries, upcoming trips or simply for pocket money. As a man of few words, this was his affectionate way of showing how much he cared for each and every one of us.
Another way he chose to express his affection towards us was after our long summer days at the beach, he'd be in the den and see us coming back to the house and before we got to the backyard he was already filling up the small tubs with warm water to wash the sand off our feet. The beauty behind these tubs was that as a 5-10 year who had just left the beach, you were so cold that this warm bucket waiting for you meant the world. We could all remember back when we each could fit our whole body in these tubs — using it more as a soaking tub than a foot station, but hey.
As well, whenever we had our big family gatherings (for whatever holiday it was), Papa would without fail only take pictures while we're all eating and not paying attention. Therefore the majority of our family photos are when we are stuffing faces and giving the worst facial expressions to the camera. But Papa would always say, it was the only time we were all in one room together. When you have 10 grandkids plus extended family, it's pretty hard to get everyone all together for family photos.
What most of us can remember as children, especially when we were young and out of control, were the moments when the noise levels would peak past Papa's tolerance level and he would disappear off to the patio for some peace and quiet. Eventually this turned into him simply turning his hearing aids off and sitting in the middle of the chaos with the calmest smile on his face and his eyes closed. He didn't have to be an active participant engaging in conversation; we all knew that surrounded by family, he was at his happiest. Although he is gone, he will be in our hearts and in memories forever.
Sunday January 11
Lawrencetown Beach
Ann's Dad's health has not been good for quite a while but on Friday morning she got a call from Martha to say that things had taken a turn for the worse and that Jack was in intensive care at the hospital. So Ann quickly arranged a flight back to Sarnia arriving in the evening after some delays in both Halifax and Toronto airports. Katy and Emily also headed down from Ottawa early on Saturday morning managing to get there by 2 PM. I'm happy to report that Jack has rallied over the past couple of days so, while the long-term prognosis is not good, for the moment he is doing as well as could be hoped.
Meanwhile the boys were left minding the fort at home; that is, until David caught an early flight back to Victoria yesterday morning. Too early from my point of view as I had to run him out to the airport at 6 AM.
James was recently asked to join the Nova Scotia Youth Wind Ensemble and he spent most of the weekend practicing with them. He was actually asked to audition last summer but was unable to because of our trip to Europe, so he has not been able to join until now. They will practice on a couple more weekends in February in preparation for a concert on March 1.
Sunday January 4
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
Emily getting ready to celebrate the New Year
As advertised last time, Ann, David, Emily, James and I spent New Year's Eve, as we have done for many years now, at Ingrid and Mike's. Most of the usual suspects were there with the principal exception of Dave and Chris who gave it a miss due to Chris' recent ill health, and Katy and Ben who were with Ben's family. As usual, Ingrid put on a magnificent spread for dinner. Thereafter the numbers began to dwindle with David and Alex leaving for other parties with significantly lower mean ages, and others returning home for a relatively early night. By the time midnight arrived only Ingrid and Mike, Ann, myself, Emily and James, and Kim and Glen were left.
Katy and Ben returned in time for dinner on New Year's Day, then left with Emily early on Friday morning. With three drivers and clear roads they managed to make it all the way to Ottawa in one day. With some bad weather on the schedule for the weekend, we were glad to hear that they had arrived safely.
Friday was a beautiful day here, so Ann and I met Ingrid at the oval on the Halifax Common for a skate, our first time so far this season. Afterwards we went for a coffee in the new public library — also a first for us. It has been getting a lot of press for its modern design and high tech features, so it was interesting to see it first hand even if we weren't really testing its main function much. The building itself is quite striking and I found it a lot larger inside than I would have thought from the outside. The café on the top floor is nice and has a great view over the southern part of the Halifax peninsula. On the way out we did have a look at some of the books and Ann even took one out for James (a primer on game theory).
Yesterday Ann went out to lunch with the ladies from the church, an event that she has organized for several years. This year they went to Trendz, the restaurant in a hotel in Burnside. Unfortunately the event was partially overshadowed by the funeral that afternoon of one of the long-standing members of the congregation.
We had our first significant winter storm last night waking up to about 15 cm of snow this morning. However, by noon it had turned to rain (as expected) and now all the roads are a slushy mess. The rain is supposed to continue until tomorrow morning with the chance of more snow tomorrow afternoon. Yuck!